Happy Easter

The walk lately has really got me waxing philosophical. I think about my friends and family and things left unsaid. I'm not going off the deep end, but being out here definitely puts things into perspective. Everyday I wake up and wonder if this is the day that is just to much to handle, that I give up on this crazy quest and go back to a place of safety, and comfort and a soft bed. Then I remind myself that its 6 months, and its not an eternity of this life. And that I can do this. Once I come to that conclusion, I am free to walk and enjoy the day. I thought I was lonely before the walk, but man its a whole other ballgame out here. Not just walking a walk that the people I meet just don't get. But the loneliness of this lifestyle. It can be near crippling at times. And its only been 3 weeks! But it gives me time to think like I never have before. Its not a conscious thing, but I start wondering about my decisions over the years and wonder how I have been so unforgiving. I think it has to do with that person I had become. The guy who's dreams just fell short where nothing was really worth the price anymore. But now, here on Easter day, I miss my family and friends. And I miss my extended family, the ones I never quite stayed in touch with, or got to know better as an adult. I hope today leaves you with contentment and a full stomach

Quest

It's really amazing how after interacting with good people how there's an added spring in your step. The folks at the Sunoco were really cool and accommodating. They even offered for me to stay the night if I needed to, but alas I have miles to go before I sleep. There are times on this journey where I look around and think, what the heck am I doing??? Seriously. I look at my life and wonder of all the steps that led me to this point in time. That I am basically homeless with no destination in mind. But then something good happens or I meet some really nice people and I remember, I remember that its a quest im on. Like sir Percival and the holy grail, that once the trail is found, heals the land. I know that not many people get it. That this whole idea of travelling like I am is ludicrous and hokey. But it makes sense to me, that this is the way I am choosing to find my happy place, my quest for what had been lost, that will heal the king and kingdom.

Onward

Today was nice but boring. I finished up ny laundry and basically did nothing. I was planning on staying another day here, but my feet are at about 80%, and good enough to walk. I am really just ready to be out of the south and should be into Louisiana within the next two weeks. Once I get further west, then I won't mind stopping for more than a day or two. Years ago I read a book by Robert Silverberg called the feast of st. Dionysus. It wad about a guy who after returning from a mission to Mars, found much of lifes meaning gone. So he headed out into the desert, similar to the Mars terrain in an attempt of reconciliation with himself. He came across a communal group that believed that salvation came by way of getting drunk on wine and attaining what they called the ocean of god. It was an unusual SciFi book written in the hippy era, but there was an allegory that has stayed with me through the years, something that struck home, about an oasis in the desert and finding home there. Similarly, I hope to find my place out west.

R&R

At Hall Landing at Lake Talquin and will probably stay for a few days. My feet are in sore shape and can use some time off. Aired out my bag and doing laundry, and mostly just sitting and not walking. Met a maintenance guy for the county named Frank, a real articulate and friendly guy. We talked awhile and he gave me some friendly advice about staying off hwy 20 at night. He also gave me a memorable quote... "the difference between an ephiphanous experience and a disastrous one is sometimes three steps". I am happy to just rest and relax for a change. Walking across America is a full time experience that even when you're not actively walking, can be very stressful and tiring. I've earned a few days on the proverbial couch, and I intend to get the most of my R&R. Too bad there are gators in the lake, I would really enjoy a swim right about now.

Today sucked

Earlier, I knew I wanted to leave Tallahassee but I kept finding myself doing things to delay the push off time. And so, it took me 4 hours to go 2 miles. But I finally sucked in the pain in my feet and my lack of sleep and started out. It was a grueling 15 miles. Grueling. It was a million degrees and about a zillion percent humidity. And while I was walking they were putting out a small forest fire. So I got to enjoy that as well. I did find this great big oak to take a break under and that was awesome until people did the drive up and stare routine, forcing me to leave. My goal was a campground and I got there with an hour to spare. But little miss I ain't got time for homeless trash informed me that the tent portion has been closed for renovations. But that another campground just a meager 5 miles away is available for tent camping. Just 5 miles! That's 2 hours and some change to us walkers, and would put me well past sundown before I reached there. My feet called me names, and not very nice ones, I did manage to start walking even through the abuse. I was looking for a spot just in case, but no luck. Seems every white haired old lady that had any kind of money settled down here. Immaculate lawns, house, and left with nothing but to watch the wayward yeti spring into the bushes so she can call the fuzz. After sunset, my walk took a turn for adventure. It seems that the local yahoos like to see how close they can get to hitting said wayward yeti, without denting their shiny new truck. So we played that game for about 30 minutes in the near darkness. Good times. Then I turned off that road into a road the campground was on. I eluded them it seemed and so they were able to go back to their regular scheduled rowdy, that I'm pretty sure involves a goat. I was worried about getting to the campground and them turning me away, or not being awake to admit me or any number of things that would cause me to cry unabashedly. I was also having a humble yet decidedly unhappy talk with god about luck finding a spot the last few nights. And i do recall some pleading on my part. Then a car comes, a Miata I think and a window rolls down. An angel asks me if I'm ok and if theirs anything she can do. She even offers to put my mammoth cart into her tiny car. She wants to help somehow, so I ask if she will just talk to the campground guy and let him known I'm on my way. I also though it couldn't hurt to have a local present you in case campground guy was like little miss sunshine from the other campground. She comes back about ten minutes later letting me know that campground guy mike saw me on the highway earlier walking and would definitely wait up for me. And then not a minute later Mike shows up with his truck to help me lug my cart a me faster to my camp spot. So freakin awesome! They were both so nice and helpful, and maybe I did cry a manly tear if thankfulness but only one. I am showered and in bag and tent looking toward a nice day tomorrow.

Today sucked

Earlier, I knew I wanted to leave Tallahassee but I kept finding myself doing things to delay the push off time. And so, it took me 4 hours to go 2 miles. But I finally sucked in the pain in my feet and my lack of sleep and started out. It was a grueling 15 miles. Grueling. It was a million degrees and about a zillion percent humidity. And while I was walking they were putting out a small forest fire. So I got to enjoy that as well. I did find this great big oak to take a break under and that was awesome until people did the drive up and stare routine, forcing me to leave. My goal was a campground and I got there with an hour to spare. But little miss I ain't got time for homeless trash informed me that the tent portion has been closed for renovations. But that another campground just a meager 5 miles away is available for tent camping. Just 5 miles! That's 2 hours and some change to us walkers, and would put me well past sundown before I reached there. My feet called me names, and not very nice ones, I did manage to start walking even through the abuse. I was looking for a spot just in case, but no luck. Seems every white haired old lady that had any kind of money settled down here. Immaculate lawns, house, and left with nothing but to watch the wayward yeti spring into the bushes so she can call the fuzz. After sunset, my walk took a turn for adventure. It seems that the local yahoos like to see how close they can get to hitting said wayward yeti, without denting their shiny new truck. So we played that game for about 30 minutes in the near darkness. Good times. Then I turned off that road into a road the campground was on. I eluded them it seemed and so they were able to go back to their regular scheduled rowdy, that I'm pretty sure involves a goat. I was worried about getting to the campground and them turning me away, or not being awake to admit me or any number of things that would cause me to cry unabashedly. I was also having a humble yet decidedly unhappy talk with god about luck finding a spot the last few nights. And i do recall some pleading on my part. Then a car comes, a Miata I think and a window rolls down. An angel asks me if I'm ok and if theirs anything she can do. She even offers to put my mammoth cart into her tiny car. She wants to help somehow, so I ask if she will just talk to the campground guy and let him known I'm on my way. I also though it couldn't hurt to have a local present you in case campground guy was like little miss sunshine from the other campground. She comes back about ten minutes later letting me know that campground guy mike saw me on the highway earlier walking and would definitely wait up for me. And then not a minute later Mike shows up with his truck to help me lug my cart a me faster to my camp spot. So freakin awesome! They were both so nice and helpful, and maybe I did cry a manly tear if thankfulness but only one. I am showered and in bag and tent looking toward a nice day tomorrow.

Ugh...Tallahassee

Another misstep in judgement yesterday. I was just outside Tallahassee at the Mickey Dees and decided yo press on and look for a spot. It wasn't quite sunset, so I strode onwards. Only onwards, was middle America, yards and houses, and no spot for the night. Instead of going back a few miles I crossed Tallahassee hoping to reach the other side and make it to the rural areas where I could sleep. I have to say FSU looks like a really nice college. And the stadium is a work of art. Anyway, I passed though some more trendy areas where the FSU-ites like to mingle, then made it as far as the sidewalks would go on this side of the city. Being someone who learns from his mistakes, I did not press on into the back country. Instead I holed up at a bus stop bench. At least until it became to cold, and I realized that I desperately need sleep. But my feet were simply not having any of my plans to find a more suitable hole. So I stayed at the bench for several hours.at about 1am, I had had enough. I made for a patch of trees, burrowed my way in and setup my tent. It was so close to the sidewalk that I wad concerned about being noticed. My camouflage tarp in great, until someone flashes a light on it and sees how shiny it is. And then I'm just like anyone else who pitched his tent 10 feet from the sidewalk. I did sleep, but woke up frequently. It was better than nothing though. And now its morning. I broke camp before the light touched the sky to ensure my stealthy retreat. There's a park a few miles outside of town, lake talquin. Aunt Sally just made a donation to my burrito fund, Thanks Sally! So I may bypass a few burritos in favor of a campsite with a possible shower. And a place to do my laundry would be great. I can deal with the infrequent bathing. But after walking a marathon each day, my clothes take on a very undesirable aroma. I have a roll up bucket, and if I can figure out how to rinse my clothes without using up lots of precious water, I would do that. This morning I'm headed backwards a mile to get some groceries before heading out of civilization, and maybe a bite to eat at Mickey Dees. For those who want to know, my grocery list is simple, chef Boyardee and fruit cocktail. Here's hoping the day turns bright.