Conflicted

Never did get that rest time. The sun was out and I figured I would walk, instead of sitting there in the heat. Walking, I've been thinking about the road ahead and the road I've already traveled. This is my first day back on the road after a very nice oasis with a good friend.  My time in Denison was very nice and fulfilling and I can see living there.  With the new money being channeled into the area, there's new growth and opportunity where before there was only a ghost. And there's lake Texoma which is probably the best swimming, good time lake I've ever been to. I have been so far from happy for so long, I'm not sure I know what it looks like. But the last week or so is definitely a highlight in the last several years.
But it could also be that I am not looking forward to some aspects of the walk. I can do the walk to Utah, and I know that I will make it. There are challenges, but I can face them. My time on the road thus far, has shown me that I can meet anything that comes my way. Even the night camping and the heat don't really hold any dread, just annoyance.
I guess the only real concern I have about the walk is the destination. If I was doing the walk so I could go from point A to point B, I don't think there would be doubt about continuing on. But I'm going from point A to my happy place. I'm not walking for a cause, I'm walking for myself. And though lake powell definitely holds a yearning, I worry that I will get there as the summer is ending. That limits the jobs in the area signifigantly. And if I'm unable to work, I will have to move on to another locale. And what if I get there, it's just a lake in a desert, no happy thoughts?
And lastly, I feel an obligation to those following my journey. I enjoy the walk immensely and would be sad to leave that behind. But it will end one day.
For the first time since I started, I feel fully prepared, physically, mentally, spritually, and with regard to my gear. I guess I will just keep walking until I figure it out.