My father

I suppose back in the day, he was a decent man. He just had a problem with alcohol. Still does I guess. My mom and he divorced when I was young. I had a good childhood but don't have any good memories of him. All the memories I do have, revolve around being chastised in some way. After the divorce, he stayed in touch for a few years, but then nothing. A card here and there maybe. So I grew up without a father, mostly. There were those that filled the opening for a time, but it always seemed a tenative position. My mom had to be both mom and dad, and she did a good job. But there was something missing. I'm not saying having a father in your life is mandatory, especially one who doesn't care. But there are things that get missed out on. Like learning how a man is supposed to act in a relationship with a woman, or how a man is supposed to act with his child. How to deal with everyday frustrations. Men are from Mars and women from venus. My mom did a good job, but there are just certain things she couldn't teach. So here I am years later, thinking about this, not for the first time, and I no longer feel that missing piece of my life. In my walk with god, I feel that emptiness filled,  and it's nice. It's nice to have that protection,  to know someone is looking out for you, and someone to help guide my decisions.