My happy place

I started this walk as a last ditch effort to get out of the box that was my life. I had little expectations that I would find my happy place much less any meaning. But in desperation I still hoped, because I have always believed that my life was to be one of meaning and happiness.
And then early on in the walk I found faith, and from that, grace. I found many things I had lost over time, and in my walk with god, I finally found my happy place.
I have felt my whole life to have this need and acceptance from others, and in small ways, they would fill the emptiness inside me.  I always felt like I was half of a man, half of the person I was meant to be, so that even in my happiest moments, I still yearned. But I found that emptiness filled with god. And I am no longer hungry, going through the cabinets trying to figure out what exactly I have a hunger for, what exactly I'm missing. I am sated and whole.  And I am no longer alone.
My journey was about finding that perfect place, finding a spiritual wholeness, and if I lost a few pounds, that was an added bonus. I found a perfect place, a perfect stillness of my thoughts through faith. Not a physical locale,  but a serenity within. So that no matter where I am, I am happy. I found the ocean of god, not in a desert, but in the humid, rainy swamps of desperation, of humilty. And I lost a few pounds.
The motivation for walking to Utah is no longer there for me. I don't feel the need to punish my body further, walking through radioactive heat, just to end the walk in the sun drenched desert. Walking across america was never my goal. Utah was a general direction, not a spiritual endgame.  I no longer feel the need for penance, to punish myself for walking so far down that dark road that became my life.
I enjoyed parts of the walk to here. I felt so connected to my friends and family. With the blog, I completely opened my thoughts to the world without a censor,  and received encouragement. What a great feeling! I reconnected with friends i had pushed away, or thought lost. I met truly amazing and kind people on the road. I had moments of pristine clarity, and beauty. I have never before felt so close to the people around me, nor so grateful to have them in my life.
But now I'm done and ready to start a new adventure. Maybe not one with dangerous creatures, weather that stalks and harasses me. And maybe not one where I will have to worry about where I sleep each night. This adventure will be filled with good friends, good times and happiness. It may not be blog worthy or exciting like walking across 4 states; but it will be new and exciting.
The person that started this walk is not here. I am full, satisfied and happy; and I'm happy with the direction my life is going.
Thank you everyone who has encouraged me, donated, and shared this awakening with me! It has meant the world to me.

Wayward Yeti, signing off.