Forgiveness

That's a tough one. Sure I can forget,  and if I never have to deal with that person again, I can forgive to some extent. But with a betrayal, forgiveness is hard. It's a way of moving on, and allowing yourself to heal. But I tell you, there are some things in my past I just cannot get past. Maybe once I'm a real boy again, can I find a way. With me, a betrayal breaks something inside. And some things get broke and can't be fixed. Repurposed, but not the same. Before I started this walk I was all kinds of broken. All my dreams were a failure,  my hope gone, and I felt like it could never get better. So in a last attempt to salvage my life, I started this walk. And I've found that I don't need to fix what was broken. I don't want to glue together the pieces to make the same hapless shell that I was. Instead I have found new purpose that doesn't involve cloning.  So maybe I can forgive, just not forget. Like burning your hand, the wound heals, but it's a lesson.

Leaving Longview part 2

On my way out of town,  I was taking a breather on the side of the road,  and Rex pulls over to see how I'm doing. We chatted a little bit, he gave me some cash and invited me to his house a few miles ahead. About an hour later I stopped by, and he invited me in, fed me and we proceeded to have a great talk about god and the bible. It was really nice to discuss belief and my new path in an open forum. We talked for a few hours and said our goodbyes. He's definitely given me some things to consider and think about. And like always, meeting amazing people really puts a good spin on the day. I was also worried about money, and the cash was an answer to a prayer. I am thankful and hopeful of my path ahead.

Leaving Longview

Will be leaving shortly, and though sad to sad goodbye, excited about getting back on the road. Aunt Stacy and I spent most of yesterday talking, so hopefully I've gotten enough one on one interaction to last me through the solitary days ahead. I've decided to head to dallas via 80 even though going 69 to Greenville is a shorter trek. The 69 route is backcountry and I would like to avoid that. With all the rains and flooding, animals like boars may be closer to highways and out of their natural stomping grounds. And I like the civilization more frequent. I'm ready for another week or two on the road, with all that entails.

Day 77

In Gilmer TX at my uncle and aunts house. I was planning on leaving this morning but there is another storm front coming today and they offered to let me stay another night. Awesome! Last night we went out to eat and had tex-mex and it was great! I ate too much and somehow still had leftovers. I am still tired from a lack of sleep this week and going to take a much needed nap.

Phew

Walked about 20 miles thus far and I'm pooped. My legs or feet hurt to some extent everyday and today it's a nice stiffness that has stayed with me throughout the day. Alot of times just walking thru it helps,  other times the heat of the movement and sun, warm them sufficiently so as not to be too bad. But today, just ouch! The temperature here just keeps getting hotter and hotter for every minute the sun's out, so later in the day is that much hotter. Last time I looked it was 96, not sure now. My uncle offered to pick me up after he got off, and good thing, because on a normally I would stealth camp asap. I wish I could figure a way to attach an umbrella so the sun wasn't constantly beating down on me. And think, it's just going to get hotter. Today is one of those days, I've asked myself repeatedly, what was I thinking?! Lol.

Longview today

I'm about 5 miles out, and loving these small towns with stores every ten miles. There are plenty of hills though and that's a challenge. The foam innertubes aren't as good as the air filled ones, and ride lower to the ground like a partially filled tire, so its almost a chore pulling the cart. Going uphill I push the cart and down I pull it. At least I wont have to worry about flats. I'm at an Exxon, and bought an Icee. White cherry and coke mixed. It is so nice. These things can only truly be enjoyed when its this hot. Well, hot going up all these hills. Its actually cloudy and nice weather. A nice breeze or wind helps alot in the walk and can do more miles between breaks. My uncle and aunt live in Longview, so will be staying the night with them. They are about 10 miles north of the city, so its a longer walk than I had expected today. Will be clocking close to 30 miles. But a shower, a possible bed, and good company are worth it.

Special

Almost from the day we are born, we are instilled with the notion that we are special.  That we are meant for greatness and our lives will mean something.  Or that we will be the turning point in other people's lives, that our existence wasn't for nothing. My whole life I've been a dreamer and a daydreamer. In my imaginings I made a difference for others.  But in my day to day, I did very little in the way of making a difference,  and I never did achieve that potential. Even this walk, as special as it is, isn't what I'm meant to be or fo, it's a journey to that. Maybe all of life is just that journey and that potential is a life of meaning realized. On this walk, I have prayed alot. Alot. Mostly I have prayed for the rain to go away. Because as we all have learned, rain is a walk kilker. That's when I realized that my prayers were being answered. When a full on storm front was headed directly at me, and the suddenly it would part. Or that it would come at me like a wall for a thousand miles, and then just as it was upon me, go around my location like the eye of the storm. It sounds crazy, I know. But it's happened many times. Too many times to be the luck of the draw. There are other things too, but the praying to stay dry, and having the storm front,  not touch me, really dislodged my logic, and caused me to believe; and that was the inception of my faith and walk with god. It also,  made me feel special. That I mattered, and what I'm doing matters, my walk, my life matters. Normally, I'm a very rational kind of guy. Big on critical thinking, and facts. But there are things that though could be explained,  in many ways defy logic. And I choose to see those things as the acts of a benevolent god, helping me on my journey.

Rose hill methodist church

I'm about 5 miles outside marshall behind this little church in my tent.  I couldn't find anywhere else to camp. It's all fenced. And a tire went flat,  so I changed both of them into the foam innertubes. I'm very leary about stealth camping here. It's texas after all and I don't wanna get shot. I'm debating on putting a note on the door. There's a big storm front coming in from Dallas and I don't want to be in it. I've got my new rain gear, but it would also mean walking at night. I'm so tired.

To Marshall

I'm about 12 miles out, and hope to get there by early afternoon. Then to WalMart for some rain gear, and then onto Longview. Its very humid this morning. My theory is that by noon, the sun burns it all up, which is why there's a dry heat in Texas. Its a theory anyway, and maybe a hope. I don't think I can deal with 100 degree heat and humidity. I still have ice in my cooler and that's really helping me cool down. Reaching Texas, has gotten me to ponder the road thus far and my journey. Mostly I was running, trying to get away from my old life. Now though, I feel like I'm running to something. And that's a great feeling.

Tejas

Got a nice spot in between i-20 and a frontage rd, and trying to cool down. The sign I passed in town said 100 degrees. Doesn't feel that hot, and hopefully the humidity is gone forever. But I need to pay attention to the sun. My arms are to a point that I don't need sunscreen and they don't burn. My face will hold up better but it will burn. The hat helps alot and I usually wear it when the sun gets shining on my forehead. I got some burrito money, and the next civilization I hit, I'm getting rain gear. I'm so excited. Texas is a big milestone. Dallas will be my halfway point, or sooner. I haven't found an app that will let me map out my route, going forward and back to the beginning. I may be at 1k miles but the map only does interstate routing, and that's way more direct than the state and farm roads I took. I lived in Dallas for 10 years and though I wont be hitting my ok stomping grounds, its familiar territory.

Texas

Hit the Texas border not long ago and it feels good to have made it this far. A guy passing by gave me 20 bucks and I was able to get a new cooler,  ice and Gatorade.  I hope to make it to Dallas in the next 2 weeks, then north to denison, then NW to Amarillo.  It's gonna take at least a month and a half, maybe two. Texas is just big. Thanks so much for all the encouragement and support!

Grace

Been doing some thinking today.  My walk has been slow, because my right calf/ankle is sore, so been taking it easy and frequent breaks to rest it. But thinking about grace and my walk with god. I see a lot of churches with grace in their names, and I guess that was my spark. I have lived most of my life without its presence, and that was fine. I was agnostic before the walk. Note that I said agnostic versus atheist. Agnostic is about not knowing versus not believing. But in my world, there was a set of checks and balances, a rhythm of receiving and returning. You buy me dinner, and I will buy yours the next time around. But the last few years I've been short on friends because I removed myself from the world to live in my solitary hole. So even the tit for tat was infrequent. With family you automatically get grace, or at least in mine. The same for friends and loved ones. Getting grace from complete strangers is in my experience a rarity. But here I am now on this walk, and not only have my friends and family pitched in to keep this journey alive and afloat. But complete strangers. Whether it's to donate towards the walk or because I appear homeless  (which I suppose in the strictest sense I am), it doesn't matter, because the giving is the important part. Giving when there is no motive but to make someone's life better. Then there's god's grace. Praying, I've asked for safety, to keep animals from my path, I've asked for money, I've asked for the sun to come out, and I've asked to stay dry; and every time my prayer was answered. Coming from a life of hoping, to a life of getting what I ask for, is a completely foreign idea. It's that grace from god, that gives me hope, joy, and freedom to enjoy the walk where I would normally dispair.  And because I've been given grace, I in turn feel the imperative to grant it. I guess it's paying it forward.  It makes me want to be less judgemental,  and more kind. More the kind of person I want to be.

Exfil

Just loaded up on groceries to the extent that I could and packed the cart. Its a little weird walking with the cart, but I will get used to it. Its got a low center of gravity and is very compact. Texas is 19 miles away and I think I can do that. My cooler got left behind at the motel because I couldn't carry it. So that means no Ice, but I will just deal. The rain stopped just as I was waking up. I was praying for that as I don't have any rain gear anymore. I do have a trash bag though, so in a pinch. I will be heading out on 79 which turns into 80, and follows the interstate.

The new cart

Its very large, and looks like the bed of a pickup, only canvas. Michael helped me get everything setup and even fashioned a kickstand of sorts. I will post a video when I can. Jenn and Michael and family are related to a friend. They have been so nice and hospitable, and I'm so grateful for all they've done. Tomorrow I head to Texas, and hopefully the rain will just stop. With all my rain gear gone, I will just have to get wet and hope my gear stays dry.

Things of note

While I have a moment, I want to write a few odds and ends. The guy who picked me up yesterday,  Jabel,  was a total character. Not that he was funny or anything.  His truck was an in use sportsman's paradise.  Fishing poles, nets, a bucket of fish for bait. Mud was everywhere and he kept his truck like I have in the past, very cluttered.  After we strapped my cart into the bed, and getting into the cab; he had an old revolver tucked in between the seat,  and sitting next to me was a rifle. He had that Cajun accent, and though I didnt understand all the words, i got the gist. He was wearing a bandana under his cap, a loose fitting shirt, shorts and cowboy boots, no socks. He said he just came back from hunting and fishing all night. Told me about the boars in the area and dome seemingly tall tales. He was very antigovernment, and pro guns. No real reason for writing about him, it's just, he could have been a character from young guns. Before that around midday, I was sitting on a bridge, and a truck pulled up. An older lady gave me 20 bucks and a bible verse. She quoted the wrong book, but essentially the verse was, I will not leave you nor forsake you. Dueturonomy something. I had been feeling a little left out in the rain, literally and figuratively. So that was a nice message.

Backpacking is not fun

Or at least not with all the gear I have. I never considered weight as a factor, so it's no wonder my pack is hideously overweight. I ended up taking the local transit, when I figured that walking a mile, stopping for 45 minutes to recuperate wasn't going to get me to south shreveport before midnight. So now I'm about a mile away and scoping out some spots just in case. I just hate the idea of imposing myself into someone else's life and like to be as independent as I am able. I hadn't really planned on naming the new cart, but seems you guys have other plans. I'm game. It's weird, it's 86 degrees now but just not really feeling the humidity. Maybe I crossed that invisible line where humidity stops beating the crap out of you. And maybe it's mother nature playing a cruel trick. I'm looking forward to being on the road again. The hotel stay was nice, don't get me wrong.  I just really enjoy the new sights every mile.

Tornado

Last night there was a tornado warning and it was storming fiercely. The rain was going sideways and I was very relieved to be indoors. I decided that spending the money on a washing machine was the better part of Valor, as the clothes kept on dirtying the water even after 15 min of wringing them out. Manny, the cart is gone. I was able to salvage the tube for use on the next cart, so that's a plus. Now I have to walk 12 miles with everything on my back. I got rid of my boots I was keeping for a backup pair, but looking at them in the light, they were past their expiration date. Oh, and saved my rickshaw poles. Within the last few days, my umbrella mysteriously disappeared,  probably slipped it's noose on the cart. My poncho is dead and doesn't really keep me dry. I think that the next rain, I will just be wet and miserable. As long as I have a dry set to change into, I'm good. each day as the walk progresses, it's a test of what us needed and what's not. gearwise and spiritually. And eventually even stuff you were hanging onto for a rainy day, get trashed.

Bear country

Made good miles today and was about to make camp when this pickup pulled over. Guy asked if I needed a ride. I told him I was walking, same line different day. He then suggested against it. He said they just released some black bears into the wildlife management area we were in, and he again suggested against it and offered a ride. Jabel was very country, but nice. I took the ride, not wanting to become bear bait, then rode in my first car in 2 months. The time before that was when the guy in the campground in Florida gave me a lift, after the hood Ole boys were playing chicken with me. I'm not happy that ride was necessary,  but I am currently not being chased by bears either, so that's a plus. We drove past the WMA and into Bossier city. He dropped me off at a walmart, and then wanted to chat,  as is the country way. I've actually got a hotel tonight, a donation by a good friend. But that's still miles away. I walked hard today and probably pushed too hard. An actual bed sounds divine.

Happy Memorial day

I did about ten miles before I realized I only had a quarter gallon of water. I did a quick inventory and also realized I was out of energy drinks too. Checking my app, I saw that there are no stores for the next 15 miles and that worried me. It's a scorcher today, and without water,  I'm a dead fish. After freaking out, I noticed a house across the street. One that was off the road and not protected by a fence or dog. After getting no response from a knock, I went around back calling out the whole time, as I didn't relish the idea of getting shot today. A man and his wife were around a pool. They filled my gallon to the top then gave me a second gallon which was very cool. I normally am good about checking my supplies and thought I had a second gallon stashed. Thank god they were home and friendly. A few cops just stopped to check my ID and were fairly friendly. A few miles back I saw a dead rattlesnake on the side of the road, my first. Before it was stay wary near the water, now it's extended to everywhere else. Gonna try and do some good miles today. But it's hot and I font want to overheat.

Adventure

When Haley was 6 or 7, we went on dome adventures. She had her adventure gear which included a belt with adventuresome tools like a magnifying glass.  I can't remember what all else was attached but I remember she jostled when she walked. One day, I made a treasure map with tea bags and burnt the edges. We were to seek Old Jacks treasure. It ended in finding a buried box of coins and fake jewelry.  It's a very fond memory for me. I've been thinking that lately I've been in a funk, and couldn't figure out why.  Sure it's been some challenging miles I've walked, but essentially not any different. Then while talking to a friend on the phone, I got it. The walk stopped being an adventure, and became everyday. With all the challenges,  I reverted into an old coping mechanism, one of negativity.  But now that I recognize it, things will change. And I need to plan my route a little better. Instead of taking the bee line straight to my goal going through an unkind wilderness,  I should be planning a route through more civilization. And maybe  do some research and touch on places of interest. I've about 40 miles to Shreveport and that excites me. The key is to stay excited. After all, I want the journey to be just as pivotal as the destination.

Pfft!

Today was one of those miserable soaking wet days, just plain misery. The hills are back, and the thing where there's canals on both sides of the road. Last ni ghost town I slept about 15 feet from a stop sign, because it was the only place. Today it rained do hard, it nearly broke my umbrella with the wind. During that fun, my feet got soaked. And then my poncho ripped, so fun fun fun! I'm in Coushatta and was lucky that some folks bought me a combo. Not hungry, just need something warm. I'm completely drenched.  I'm done for the day. Did 17 miles before 4pm and my feet are killing me. I need a good spot and now. Gonna wait til the phone charges some and head out.

Clarence

Walking thru town hoping to find a place to plug in this phone. The battery life is ok, just takes a long time to charge even in an outlet. Rains on its way again, this time from the south.the mickey dees was a ruse. There is nothing in this junket town. I kinda miss Mississippi where people actually talk to you. I'm glad you all liked the videos. If I can get a video editor on this phone then we will be rockin. But been barely in range all day. I hope I can keep dry today.

Day 70

As I head NW the swampiness is becoming less, unless of course it's a trick. Today it's sunny and bright,  for which I am thankful. But it's very hot and humid too. I checked my map app and it shows a mickey dees up the road about 14 miles. I'm a little surprised and didn't expect civilization until Shreveport. I'm trying to get my MOJO back. The last several days I've felt uninterested in my journey. But I guess there's a lesson here somewhere. Keep going no matter what. I definitely have not yet found the promise land. And I am excited about my weight loss, so there's that.  Spiritually I'm okay, but could really use some oil for the fire. There's just no real way to do that on the walk, as it takes up my entire day. The shoes are going splendidly and I'm so thankful. The cart, well, haha. I feel like this first half of the journey was kinda like going through the muck and mire to reach the good stuff. The bad side is that I won't reach the mid point til about Paris TX.  But I guess that's not so far away. A few hours by car.

Taking the rest of the day

Off! Just outside Montgomery and found a spot just over the railroad tracks that was at one time a homeless guys spot. There's a blanket and a disused tarp hanging here. Walked about 20 miles, so I'm good.  The folks here in LA are a little different. They don't really talk, just stare. They're polite and all, but I guess they figure your business is your business. It's a little odd though. Another 4 days and I'll be in Shreveport. I've been toying with the idea of retiring Manny,  but don't want to carry all that water. I just have to treat him like walking an elderly man down the stairs. No crazy stuff and we may be good. So far no incoming rain, so I'm crossing my fingers tomorrow will be a sunny day.

Respite

Stopped at a little gas station, that happened to have a hot food cafe type thing. It's as good oasis as any for this long endless countryside. The main problem I'm experiencing is the lack of any available camp spots.  All the roadside property is a swamp, fenced, or underwater. and my normal haven, bridges, are gator pits. Makes camp spotting that much more frustrating. I seriously feel like I'm in some kind of natural disaster aftermath because of all the water. And can't really enjoy the walk. That's why I'm pushing so hard for Shreveport and Texas. I can't wait for the walk to be fun again, where fear is not my constant companion.

Fear again

Most everything on these southern roads are things that scare the crap outta me.  Poisonous snakes, poisonous spiders, bears, gators; and there's wildlife that you just have to be cautious of, like boars and dogs. And then sleeping in the midst of all that within a thin tent. It's nerve wracking at times. Faiyh and caution get me through most of it, but I found last night another piece of armor; and that's being tired. I was so tired, nor just from the walk but from the fear and anxiety that I just didn't care. I didn't care if I had to face the things my fear had wrought. I would beat it with a stick,  bears spray it, or kill it with my own hands if it meant a safe place to sleep. Probably not the smartest thing, but definitely an armor, and weapon against fear.

Misery

I could not find a spot last night for the life of me. Private property, fenced property, swaps and alligators. Because of the flash floods, all the rivers and gullies have overflowed to create one large swamp. Did I mention gators? I saw a fairly large one, about 10 feet long in the middle of some of that runoff. Couldn't find high ground for anything. So I kept walking. Near dusk I found a place next to a farmers fence line. I have seen more wildlife in LA than in any other state, and I'm not a wildlife guy. I'm making it my sole purpose to make as many miles each day as I can. Because of the rain and clouds I can't keep a charge on either phone. The cart is on its last leg and makes a jolting noise every rotation. When do I leave the swamp behind?

Spooky bridge

About 20 miles outta town, I found a bridge. Its shallow, but kept me out of that lightning storm about an hour ago. Its close to the water and very swampy. Like the kind of place gators would be happy. I haven't seen any yet. Just a humungo frog, which I see as keeping guard for me. Its gonna rain for at least another few hours, and though I'm bushes, there is no way I'm spending the night here. Just waiting out the rain, with my stick and bear spray handy. There's also a pile of bones. I'm guessing from a dog. They are arranged so must have been by human hands. Its just a weird spooky bridge. And I can't wait to leave it behind. A nice place in the woods, somewhere miles from here would be nice. I am tired but keep packing the energy drinks to stay awake.

Pretty

Miserable day thus far. Only got about four hours of uncomfortable sleep. I should have just found a place in the woods near civilization instead of heading out. I back hiked to the Kmart tho morning as I saw with the last of my battery life that a new stormfront was moving in. Getting out from under the bridge was a pain and my cart toppled, spilling the ice chest. But thankfully not everything is soaked. Walking with the cart reminds me of one of those wobbly carts you would see in a middle ages peasant town. But as long as it rolls. I'm charging my phone compliments of kmarts outdoor outlet, then I'm on my way. My hope is to beat the rain yo a hood concealed campspot so I can do so early and get some much needed sleep. My experience with bridges in LA has been less than ideal, so I hope to find a good wooded area. I dont even care about miles today so long as I can get some sleep and stay dry. I'm just that tired.

All that hurrying

For this crappy spot. Under a bridge, but was planning on camping in the woods. But the brush is too dense. And I bent another rim on this hill, so it's a crapshoot whether the cart is going to make it and how far. But as I slept in I'm not really ready for sleep, so may as well stay up a bit. I'm on the slant under the underpass, and going to try and sleep here with just my pad and bag. It's awkward but it's what I've got. And certainly not going walking at night. All my gear smells pretty bad. Usually I don't notice as much, but another day or two of this and i won't smell a thing. I'm a little worried about my cart not making it only because I just bought water, drinks, and food; which I would need to ditch most of if I have to backpack it. I am so thankful for all the people who donated for my shoes. There was enough left over to get new shorts, toiletries and mosquito repellant.

Good day

A few miles outside Alexandria,  under a bridge of course. Only walked about 7 miles but didn't feel them with the new shoes. They are awesome!! I did some shopping and got some essentials and my brother in law, got me on his and my sisters phone plan. So I'm using a new phone now. Therefore if I make any further spelling mistakes it's my fault and can't blame it on my phone anymore. It's late and not sure if I should camp in the woods next to the bridge or what. But I need to decide soon.

Heading out soon

I've learned that squeezing every minute out of my civilized time (in a hotel), keeps me in better spirits longer. So I will be leaving at 12. I plan on stopping at WalMart on the way out as there wont be anything for the next 120 miles to Shreveport. And I'm really excited about the new shoes and seeing how far they get me. The weather outlook isn't great, but just have to play it by ear. Hopefully the rain will stay away so I can make some miles these next days. I tested my solar charger and its working again...whew! I was worried. It seems I start to getting down about every 10 days, and especially if I get rained on. There have been more flash floods this year than I can remember. My hope is by the time I get closer to north Texas that the mucho rain and tornados will be gone.

New shoes

Bought the most comfortable shoes today. Brooks adrenaline, and I think they will do the trick. Still sore in my right foot from yesterdays walk, but doing good. I had some crazy bread earlier, then a carb rush, and feel asleep, but managed to set my alarm because I need to organize my cart and Jerry rig the tires again. The tires are split with the solid tube pushing out. I zip tied them a few miles back and that has done the trick. New cart in a week or so, so don't want to invest in a new tire, but need to solid tube to last to be used in new cart. Looking in the mirror, can't believe how much weight I've lost. But disconcerted that my arms arm so thin, where there used to be the illusion of triceps now there is nothing. If I can find a way to work these on the walk, that would be cool. Feeling renewed and excited about my northwesterly course.

One hour

In a soft bed is equivalent to two on the walk.so my short nap, really did me some good. On my way to get some new shoes but stopped to get some dollar store sunglasses (mine old ones were lifted off my cart a few walmarts ago), and grabbed a bite to eat (taco bell burrito, of course). I keep thinking about my 30 mile trek yesterday and it wasn't so bad. My feet hurt, but no blisters just soreness. I'm excited that the shoe place is close though. Don't think I could handle a 10 mile walk today, doing errands. Very excited and hopeful.

Thirty

So I walked at night and this time, it was easier. I was closer to a big city and it was cool with no bugs. Did 30 miles, but my feet felt the last 10 especially hard. I did see some wild boar on the way, but other than that,, it was a peaceful walk. I called some hotels for prices but they were all stupid except motel 6. So instead of feeding my face with that donation from Tesa, I opted for a cheap hotel room. When I got here, the attendant Gary said that if I check in before 5am, I need to also checkout at that time. But if I check in after 5, I can checkout tomorrow at 12. We talked for a bit waiting on the clock, but then he did some finagling and was able to get me into a room 45 min early! Thank you Gary! I'm glad I was able to get this room. As I had fears of going into the mall dressed in 10 day old clothes, and minus a shower that same timeframe. Just imagine the shoe guy trying to put a sneaker on my 10 day socks. I hope they have a laundry place here, but will get some sleep first, then take care of that. I am so exhausted.

Walking at night

Today was a miserable exercise in the futily of keeping dry. My phone died early and with no sun, I wasn't able to charge it. I hot about 5 miles down the road and it started raining again. I was at a bridge so stopped, and hid under for shelter. Not a good bridge, very steep and no really dry place. I spent the day there with no idea of the time nor when the storm would pass. I guessed it was about 6 when it was actually about 2, that I setup the tent and slept. I woke up to the sun at about 5, and decided to head out. I guess my solar charger got wet, because it didn't charge.i made it to a gas station and am eating and charging my phone. There is no place to camp, its either flooded or fenced. So now its getting dark, and yet ten miles to Alexandria. Btw the bug bite healed and is gone now.whew! I'm going to walk at night, but I have no choice. I have enough for a cheap motel if I can find one. Then shoes tomorrow, thanks to my family members for pulling together for this. Really awesome! Then on my way. Hopefully my night walk will be without incident.

Got bit

The bridge I was under didn't even a little keep out the rain. It was gushing in from all sides. And I had to secure the cart as best I could from the rain. Then I grabbed a few things and scurried up the steep slope to the armpit of the bridge. While doing so I got bit by something. Soon my lower lip was numb and swelling. I took some Benadryl, but was worried about it. Worried it might be a poisonous spider. I checked the internet and didn't really find anything. But texting a friend really helped and was able to calm down. I pitched my tent in the small of the bridge and went to sleep. This morning, my lip is still numb but not as swollen. I'm still far away from anything, so will just walk and hope and pray that it heals. At least its not a brown recluse or black widow, that's a trip ender in the worst way.

Grr

Soon after I turned onto 28, the good vibes went away. It rained for about five minutes and after was this horrible humidity. And for the last 10 miles there was no wind to soften the blow. Along the way I did see two gators, small ones, but the first thus far and hopefully the last.i made it to the bridge but then had to back hike a mile as it was uncampable. So now I'm under another bridge that has a nice big under it with a million gnats attacking me. I met another walker who did the trek in 93. He said he went homeless on purpose to repent. I'm tired, all kinds of smelly, nasty and just want the dark to come.

Ten down

Ten to go. I live these farms and agricultural areas, lotsa wind. There's also less humidity. With the exception if that bug storm coming from Texas, today is going splendidly. The wind keep the gnats from pestering me, and though its hot, what's new. So many turtles committed suicide in the road today, that when I saw one about to jump into traffic, I crossed the road and moved him to safety. Some guy in a pickup stopped and told me to load my cart in the back. I said, I'm walking. For exercise? He asked. Walking across America I replied. He wished me luck and drove on. Happens alot. Ten more miles is a bridge where I'm stopping. Was considering doing some laundry today but may just buy a new shirt and shorts. They're getting very baggy. My Jerry rigged tire fixit job was a failure, so picked up some rubber off the side if the road, to try something else later. Bought another chicken 2pc for lunch. Breast and a wing. Tried to put a hurtin on it but didn't have it in me.

The sun

Us shining, no clouds, and I'm ready for a great day. Since there is so much roadside population, homes, farms, and businesses; I am looking on my map app for bridges. There's one 21 miles away. Which means getting some good miles early on. If I can do 10 by noon, that's a good start. A bridge is no guarantee of a spot, but its a better chance than not. After that its 20 miles to Alexandria, but I wont go all that way. Need to prepare to enter the city. So I will get as close as I can tomorrow, do some shoe shopping, and get out NW for Shreveport. Feeling nostalgic here. I never lived north of new Orleans, but my first wife did, and I'm reminded of the good memories of our relationship. Makes me sad, but also happy, and its important to remember the happiness in your life. Thanks again Tesa for the donation of magnitudes of burritos! I'm fueled up, well fed and ready to go, just waiting for my phone to charge a little more. And enjoying the ac a little longer. Feeling thankful for good friends and family.

Under a bridge again

I think its called black river, but can't see anything from here. The gnats have gone from dive bombing to dive bombing straight into my ears and nose. It is very frustrating but life goes on. I'm sure one bug or another will harass me tho entire journey. Thinking about the second part of my journey, and so thankful to have family to help me out with some of them high dollah running shoes, and a best friend with a new cart. Now I just need to figure out the rest. I think I'm good for the journey. The shoes and cart have been the biggest worry spot for me, so those taken care of, I can focus on things like clothes. I need to find out where they sell give n gos. They are awesome with no thigh chaffing since I started the walk. But with all this weight loss, now have to pull them up pretty high. Its stupid funny. Still not sure how much weight I've lost, but gone from a 42 waist to 38, and now those are loose. My hope is to get back to 20 before the trek is finished. The scenery here reminds me of Texas. And that gets me thinking about lakes. I will need to find a nice Texas lake asap. I have always preferred lakes to pools. But I soul take either right now. Normally at night when I'm done setting up camp, I wait in my tent for it to cool down, usually by 9. But lately, there's no cool down, just more heat. A nice cool lake. Ahh! Guess we'll see.

My spiritual journey

I have always been a good guy, decent or tried to be, and kind where I could. And I've always been a seeker, looking for a connection to the divine, but never seemed to hit on it, except in moments that catch you off guard. Like being around kids, or the smell if cut grass, or in my dreams. I'm a very rational (some would disagree) guy and have always believed in critical thinking, building on truths. This walk has beaten me down. I've been thrust into some barbaric world, where its me against the elements, Tom against nature and himself. It has been a daily battle, but its helped me to deconstruct some truths I had rationed out. Its brought me to a place of being completely alone and in the dark. And sure its a scary place, but there's also freedom in that. So though I'm still me, I have changed even to myself. I remember looking in the mirror, and instead of the four, all hope is lost guy that used to stare back; there was this whole other guy I didn't even recognize. When I started praying at the beginning of this sojourn, it was to have someone to talk to, but more so someone to blame. It was a demanding kind of prayer, and to be fair, this trek was my last way of proving that there was no divine. Over the years I have done some stupid things. I drove across America with no money in my pocket, and no sure place to end up. This walk is an extension of that, since I didn't find what I was looking for there. I took myself completely out of any kind of comfort zone. So it took me awhile in the road for the attitude in which I prayed to change. I went from demanding to doing so in humility, pleading in some cases. There was also a change in my heart, in that I was no longer everyone's judge and jury, but someone who really cares. A good guy without the dour exterior. And then my prayers were answered. In the oddest of ways and at the mist unexpected times, what I prayed about was resolved. It took me a little bit to put two and two together. I am not used to praying for something and getting it. Its a very weird concept for me. So after a few weeks of this, I prayed that Christ come into my life and to guide me as he would. There wasn't a divine moment or anything like that. But I realized even before I said that prayer that a place that had always been empty was filled. I can't really define what used to be there, loneliness probably. But in its fullness now, that emptiness was profound. I have chosen to let god show me the proper path, as I'm not to keen on organized religion, nor the bible. But I am remaining open, as that is the only way to growth.

Golly

Seems like everytime I turn around, my atlantic2pacific compatriots are given lodging and a hot breakfast. Meanwhile I'm in some backwoods holding a tarp over my head getting bitten to death by mosquitos. Where can I get an attractive walking companion? Any takers? Hah! I'm happy enough with my walk and Louisiana is the nicest thus far. A nice cool wind today and cloudy skies make for a pleasant walk. The tire tread on one tire has completely broke thru and the foam innards are showing. Time for some Jerry rigging. It won't be pretty but hopefully will make another few hundred miles. I feel comfortable in this state, and making good time on the flat wide shoulders. After Alexandria I'm going to try and push hard for Shreveport.

Yesterday

Setup camp early. Because of the rain and the skewers. There were swarms of them. I fell asleep around 5 figuring someone would wake me up if they didn't want me sleeping there. And woke around 3 am. Btw, the vanilla extract does not work. Maybe if I was sitting on the porch drinking iced tea. But being covered head to toe in sweat, that vanilla extract does nothing. There are no hills here and very little in the way of cover, so finding a campspot tonight should be a treat. Stopped at a gas station and got son fried chicken, then proceeded to put a hurtin on it. Going over the Mississippi, its like I've gone into another land, the environment is so different. I also not only have to deal with gnats, I also have to deal with buffalo gnats. Such fun. Changed back into my boots, and fine except my right leg is tense and not very enjoyable to walk on. I'm trying to walk it off. Oh, and I have mosquito bites on all the tender parts of my body. But I'm making miles, and slept thru the rain, so I'm content with that.

Behind some Memorial

In the woods, a tarped up cart waiting for the storm. For every stretch of the road out of Vidalia, there have been houses or businesses, or farms. Not a stealth campers paradise. But I will take what I can get. It has been flat with wide shoulders and that's been nice, but there are no trees thus far to take a break in the shade. So its been walk walk walk. The sun didn't get any less vibrant, so its still hot, but there are no hills and that makes it much better. The sneakers are just awful. I may trash them and go with the boots. I feel every pebble and stone on the asphalt and its not pleasant. I pretty tired from the days walk and would like to make camp. Its just not a great spot. Decisions decisions.

Louisiana

There wasn't a colorful sign announcing my arrival into Louisiana, so no pic, but the sight of all that flat ground was welcome enough. Upon exiting the bridge, there was a van parked alongside the road and Karla introduced herself to me. Karla Brown does tours around here and Natchez and about 10 years ago, walked from Seattle to DC! Always nice to meet a fellow walker. Then she gave me 20 bucks, which was awesome, and I was on my way. I have a nice hike to get out of this commercial zoo, to make it to a place I can camp tonight. And that means walking.

Stopped by

WalMart to get some essentials. Its a 5 mile hike thru Natchez to get to the river. I bought some vanilla extract and it seems to to a good job of keeping away the flies. Just a dab in each cheek. The only problem is I'm sweating so much, its not lasting long. I'm wearing a pair of shorts I started the walk with, and they are way too baggy. Its like walking in a bug heavy dress. So uncomfortable. I forgot to get ice, so will do that later. The drinks I got are still nice and cold. I'm walking in my sneakers, even with the holes. I'm not just ready to deal with the shin splints. Crossing the river is the coolest part of my day. After, its just a normal day on the road, and I'm not sure I'm ready for that. Its also, somewhat symbolic, and represents my leaving the east and entering the west. Louisiana is kinda middle ground I guess. I lived in new Orleans for about 6 months, years ago, so I don't feel I'm missing anything by taking the northern route. I guess I'm ready.

Stealth camp spotting

Finding a good spot is all about understanding a drivers vision and what he/she sees. The goal is to get a spot close to the road, yet under enough cover and out of line-of-sight of any cars. If you're in the city, this is much harder, and you have to contend with any homeless population. Being by the road is preferred because the noise usually will scare off any animals, but its also good to have potential help nearby. I like spots that are on hills, curves, and on raised ground if possible. As a driver, going over a hill, you're nit concerned with what's 20 feet into the woods, you're focused on the road. The same thing applies to curves. If I can find a spot on the latter side of the curve, I figure drivers are focusing on straightening out with their eyes on the road. Sure there may be passengers, but most times their eyes follow the road. Or that's the hope anyway. In Mississippi I've found that just on the other side if the crest of a hill to be perfect. Usually the ground is angled so that even a few feet in, my spot is hidden completely. Getting into a good spot also requires terrain that favors you. Some heavy brush on the outside for cover, but then a nice woodland forest theme inside. And if you have a cart, there are other factors to consider. When making the rush from the road to the cart sized hole you spotted in the foliage, will your cart leave tracks? I have camped in some great spots, confident of my anonymity, only to realize in the morning that I left a trail through the talk grass that looked like Godzilla came that way. Spotting a campsite after dark is easy. Look for a good entry point, go in, and then hope there's not a twenty foot drop. Also before I leave the road, I usually strap down anything that might get caught on bushes, don my dark blue hoodie to avoid scratches, but also to cover my bright clothes, and make sure my gear is organized so its ready for an easy setup. As I get further west and the landscape changes, I'm sure this will change. But for now, it's what works best.

Natchez

Sitting on a bench outside Walgreens, thinking about finding a spot for the night somewhere close by. Its too early to go anything but look and hope. But one way or another I will be camping in town. Met some nice guys on the road today. They offered me water, but it wasn't cold, so I turned them down, but we did talk for a bit, and that was nice. Then about an hour later I was offered a burger, but turned that down too. I was in tunnel vision mode, what I needed was ice! I got ac and an iced drink at a gas station down the road. In this heat, I would have loved to lay on my moms leather couch in the cold ac. But no couches for another several months, very disappointing. Today my Denmarkian friends I met early on in the walk, hit their finish line in Times square NY. I am very happy and excited for them. Last thoughts on Mississippi? It was long, hot, and terrible. But the people were amazing and they made it sufferable. I'm interested to see if the great Mississippi river is a muddy mess. Starting in the east, all the rivers and creeks were muddy, but as I got further west, they started clearing up a little. I love rivers streams and lakes, but haven't taken any pics of them since maybe Florida, because of the mud. Not very inspiring. Also, I grew up swimming. I love to be in the water, and in most southerly places the lakes and rivers are filled with snakes and gators. So much water around and no one swimming. Going to a lake with a picnic basket, an umbrella and some towels; that's a vacation right there. My sneakers are done for I think. There are big holes in the middle where the asphalt have torn them to crap. I still have my boots, but that means shin splints. Its got me concerned. There are clear skies for the next few days. So though that means exhausting heat, it also means good walking days. If I can do 20 miles a day, I can hit Shreveport in the next two weeks. Its also further north, so hopefully cooler and less humid.

Natchez

Sitting on a bench outside Walgreens, thinking about finding a spot for the night somewhere close by. Its too early to go anything but look and hope. But one way or another I will be camping in town. Met some nice guys on the road today. They offered me water, but it wasn't cold, so I turned them down, but we did talk for a bit, and that was nice. Then about an hour later I was offered a burger, but turned that down too. I was in tunnel vision mode, what I needed was ice! I got ac and an iced drink at a gas station down the road. In this heat, I would have loved to lay on my moms leather couch in the cold ac. But no couches for another several months, very disappointing. Today my Denmarkian friends I met early on in the walk, hit their finish line in Times square NY. I am very happy and excited for them. Last thoughts on Mississippi? It was long, hot, and terrible. But the people were amazing and they made it sufferable. I'm interested to see if the great Mississippi river is a muddy mess. Starting in the east, all the rivers and creeks were muddy, but as I got further west, they started clearing up a little. I love rivers streams and lakes, but haven't taken any pics of them since maybe Florida, because of the mud. Not very inspiring. Also, I grew up swimming. I love to be in the water, and in most southerly places the lakes and rivers are filled with snakes and gators. So much water around and no one swimming. Going to a lake with a picnic basket, an umbrella and some towels; that's a vacation right there. My sneakers are done for I think. There are big holes in the middle where the asphalt have torn them to crap. I still have my boots, but that means shin splints. Its got me concerned. There are clear skies for the next few days. So though that means exhausting heat, it also means good walking days. If I can do 20 miles a day, I can hit Shreveport in the next two weeks. Its also further north, so hopefully cooler and less humid.

Where

Is that mysterious line where humidity turns into dry heat? I lived in Dallas for years and that was a dry heat. But just a few hundred miles south and walking a mile, turns your skin into a warm slushee. I know I've been complaining about the heat alot, but without ac, I don't think anyone would live below Tennessee. There would just be this great expanse of tropical wasteland. I'm about 8 miles from WalMart in Natchez, and looking forward to some of that ac. Maybe there will be somewhere I can drink a cola, sit upright and enjoy the ac. Eight minutes by car, 3-4 hours by foot. Ugh! My new growth of hair doesn't help. I started with a crewcut but now its a nice thick mat of sweat soaked heat trapping annoyance.

Roadside

In my tent in between the railroad tracks and the road. And I guess I slept in as my alarm didn't wake me. I feel renewed today for no reason. Maybe its the Mississippi river so close. Looking back on yesterday, I did 20 miles and it was fairly easy. Today I have 18 ahead of me, which puts me in Natchez so that tomorrow o can cross into Louisiana and make it through the residential sprawl before sunset. I can't wait! A new state, and maybe a new frame of mind. Then its northwest to Shreveport and then Texas right next door. I'm gonna take it easy today since I can't get too far ahead.

Day 60

So two months today have passed since I started this journey. Alot has changed for me. My feet are hardened, because I don't get blisters anymore. Even the. Normal soreness of walking 15-20 miles a day is greatly diminished. Finding a good campsite is not the fear it once was. There I still anticipation and annoyance, but its no longer a great anxiety weighing me down through the day. I have gotten used to the aroma of wearing week old laundry and bathing very infrequently. And I have found god and have the faith to follow him. There have been so really bad days, and some beautiful pristine moments. Mostly there has been alot of in between and soul searching. I have also lost at least 45 lbs. I'm just guessing based on the looseness of my shorts. But all and all, there has been change for the better. And for that I'm grateful. I'm also grateful for all of you following and supporting me on this trek. Thank you!

Love

I've been thinking about my past relationships today. No wonder I'm depressed huh? I'm 46, been married twice and with my other relationships, still haven't found a fairytale union. I know I'm a guy, but what I mean is a completely complimentary relationship. Someone that completes you. And something that lasts. And though I have preferences, I really have no idea what that would be. I wanted kids early on, and thus far haven't been able to have any. Now, its a little late and I've come to terms with it. But my life is only half full without someone to share it with. I don't feel empty, but there's a certain satisfying taste, flavor that's missing. Like everyday is food without salt or sugar. Some food is great, but could definitely be better. This is probably the first time in my life I have felt a completeness of self, so that life by itself sustains me. Where the beauty if just living is enough. I guess it would just be nice to have the sugar on top though. To be fulfilled and happy to its fullness.

Mississippi - The great in-between

Taking more breaks today because I'm just not feeling it. The music helps, mostly the Eminem strangely enough. My back hurts from pulling the cart up these hills and I could really use a nice bench. But out here in the rural areas, there's nothing but flat roads to sit on. Looking ahead and the lay of the land. Once I get into Louisiana there's not but residential and businesses for about 10 miles. Which means I need to time my entry into the state. I figure another 5-8 miles today then walk to Natchez tomorrow and wait until Friday to cross into Louisiana. Here's to hoping my day gets better, or at least doesn't get any worse.

Dispirited

But still moving. So I guess that's something. Bugs have been dive bombing my face all day to add to all the fun. I guess they go for the brightest flower out there, and since none are available, my bright white hair, or bright straw hat draws them in like honey. Wearing my bandana seems to be only a slight deterrent. I'm listening to my mp3 player in hopes of distracting my mood. I just wish I had better times on it, something uplifting. It's mostly hard and fast like the smashing pumpkins and mcr, where what I need are a nice acoustic 60s and 70s kind of thing. I have a few like that, but not many. Only 2 songs from csn&y and some reo speedwagon. If I can get a decent wifi, may try and get something. Regardless of my mood, I'm still on schedule provided I can make Dallas, or north of there in the next 3 weeks. That marks my halfway point to Utah and 2.5 months in.my goal is lake Powell at 5 months.

Walkin

The rain clouds are out but I'm walkin. At 84 and its nice to be off that two lane road. Yesterday really took alot out of me and today I'm just trying to scrape together the energy to move. I'm back to the worn down sneakers in hopes of avoiding shin splints today. But they are not comfortable and affect my walk. I think that until I get new shoes, the better course of valor is to take it easy. That means longer on the same road, longer til Texas, but hopefully in better shape if not spirit. I am feeling down and really resisting the urge to quit. Each day seems to flow together into a single blah. I found god, which was the primary mission of this trek. Sure there are other goals, and I know they are important. I'm just losing focus. It's been almost two months and I'm still in the south, my least favorite place in the world. Though pretty in some ways. Not my kind of beauty. And everyday is hard. Hard on the body and spirit. But I will keep walking, because what else do you do in the middle of the forest?

Made it to Bude

Pronounced like imbued vs rude, for anyone who cares. Todays journey was odd. The landscape changed really suddenly, and very quickly the side of the road changed into deep chasms. At first I thought they were sink holes, but they're everywhere. So it made walking fun. To know that a few missteps and I would be plummeting down 50 feet. About 8 miles back, my shin splints got realm bad. I stopped and rested and massaged my shin, and then got up to finish my miles but the pain was worse. Worse as in wayy wayy worse. I was in a residential area, well, residential rural; and just pushed thru it. It was miserable and I couldn't really stop for fear the pain would cone back. It eased a little as I walked. I'm actually outside Bude, there's a dry riverbed under the bridge. And I'm under the bridge too. The storm clouds are menacing and though I had the pick of a few spots not deep in a ravine, I chose the bridge because I wanted to continue to stay dry. Peace out!

Good miles

About 12 so far. But had to take a cool down break. The sun is out for a brief time and I am drenched. I am happy with my pace but started slowing down when the sun made its appearance. I like doing the hard part right away, pushing those miles quickly. To make my 25 for the day, now, all I have to do is a 2 mph minimum. I may try for 30 today. Wouldn't that be special!

On the road again

Got up with the daylight and headed out. My phone died last night so not sure what time. I don't like not having my phone. I feel disconnected somehow and truly in the wilds. I'm charging at a country store, but then on my way to Bude. My pace has increased and I'm charged to make some good time today. The road I'm on is a simple two lane and the shoulder is high grass and a steep incline. So I'm walking on the road a good deal. That's gonna slow me up, and having to stop now and again in the grass when alot of traffic is going by. I only have attention for the road and can't spare an eye for the sides nor scenery. At Bude the road splits into a bigger road and hopefully there will be some kind of shoulder. Today is hot and cloudy, so going to get a full charge before I leave here.

The thunder rolls

The storm should hit in a few, its thundering outside. But I've had time to think while my phone was charging and have come to the conclusion I need to step up my game. This last week or two, I have been taking partial days. Sure the heat has been a factor, but I've also stopped early in favor of a sure camping spot. I've also been on the road almost two months with no significant increase in miles per hour. I do about 2.5 mph, sometimes more but take about 5 breaks a day with only one long one. If I change my pace by 25%, and walk 12 hours I can do 25-30 miles per day. That still leaves me an hour break and time to find a spot. It's pushing it, but until I get to Texas, I think it needs to be done. I had my two days off in a hotel and sitting under this bridge all day has made me very impatient. It's an extra 7-13 miles per day but I think I have it in me. With 300 miles to shreveport/texas that's a 12 day hike if all goes well. That's an exciting thought if I can pull it off.

Fear, anticipation, or expectation

Sometimes its hard to know which one you are paying tribute. I'm in the same spot under the bridge, waiting to see which way the storm goes. I've been brow beaten enough by the rain that I don't want to rush headlong into a storm. Getting wet is not the problem. The gear getting wet is. Wet gear turns into damp and moldy gear that makes the days ahead a misery. I prefer to avoid that whenever possible. But sitting here, I start mulling over my choice, and think of the miles lost. A minimum of 2 miles per hour, and if I had left at 6 when I woke, I would be 8 miles closer to the Mississippi. And my phone wouldn't be threatening to die at any minute. But I will probably sit another hour and wait to see how the storm turns. If that means I lose a day, and stay dry, I'm all for it.

Day 58

I woke up to the sound of an alien spacecraft landing in the nearby woods. That or it was the cicadas doing their morning chant. Yesterday ad I was leaving the boundary of civilization, I had forgotten to pay heed to rule number 2, and ended up doing my duty under a bridge. Not fun in case you were wondering. And now, checking the radar, I see a large storm headed somewhat this way but northeasterly. Being under a bridge is perfect for weathering storms, but the question is, do I stay or do I go in hopes the rain will turn. I have an umbrella and a tarp, but standing on the side of the road trying not to get wet, us a miserable way to spend a few hours. I guess I will just wait and see which way it goes.

I'm playing

Troll under the bridge again. It's early, but there's not much but private property the next several miles. This one is good. Kinda low hanging and there's four wheeler tracks but I feel a good vibe here. The only thing I hate about bridges are when realm heavy trucks go over. It sounds like the world is coming to an end and headed right for you. But this is ad close to a premo spot as I'm going to get. I grew up on tom Sawyer and Huck Finn books, and though I don't remember the stories, I do remember the feel and their essence. And if I was a country farm lovin guy, I would find this place beautiful and homey. I guess its the artist in me that is drawn to lake Powell. The clash of warm and cool, the antithesis of the water and the desert. I guess its the epitome of an oasis, but much larger. I don't know why, but it just draws me in and comforts me.

Cicadas

The woods are full of their song, if you can call it that. Sounds more like an industrial plant ir a bunch of kids swinging a Wiffle bat around. Seems they do the mating thing every three years, and this is it. When I sat down on a bridge for lunch, one was a few feet away. In big into live and let live. But then it landed on my neck. I swatted it away, but when it landed there a second time, I then swatted and stomped. Live and let live has its boundaries, and landing on me invalidates the treaty. The road in on now isn't divided and doesn't have any shoulders, but more so, it has a steep drop where the shoulder should be.so I've been walking on the road, to the considerable consternation of the local denizen. It's getting to be the later part of the day and I'm still in close to the city limits. Which means houses, yards, and fences. Hopefully I will make it far enough out past all this to unknown Forrester lands. If not, I will just wait for dark and find a sub par spot. I'm in good spirits and hope on staying that way.

Honestly

I have definitely seen changes in myself thus far in my journey, but I have also made commitments to myself at its outset. I decided soon after I started this walk to be honest. I wasn't dishonest before, but I would hold back on things I wanted to say to people, thinking them too soft and cuddly for my stoic demeanor. So if I think of something nice u want to say to someone, I say it. Or text ir email it and press the send button before I think on it too long. I have also made a specific plan to be nice. I know, shocking. At first it was difficult, and my mouth twisted in distaste when I said something out of character for me. But the longer I travelled, the more naturally it came to me. And now, I can't imagine being any other way. I guess I have just always been on the critics side, pointing out the flaws. But the walk has really shown me a different side of things. It's shown me that a kind word goes a long way. Even a smile, or a sincere greeting. I didn't realize the power that kindness has. Don't get me wrong. I'm still me, full of sarcastic remarks and a satirical wit. But that has its place. I guess I just want to have a better impact on those who are in my life, even if briefly.

Onwards

Stopped at walk and got a small cooler and filled it with ice. I also got some new socks and some other necessities. Today is hot but tolerable. I think that I was just overwalked. It's important to not lose site of the adventure part of the walk, and not get bogged down by the day to day. Then it becomes something like a job and not a fun job. The Mississippi river is my next goal. I've seen it before, but never stopped or slowed down enough to really see it. It also marks my entry into another state. It's about 75 miles away regardless of what my crappy phone GPS says. I stayed up too late last night and therefore slept to late this morning. Todays walk is only about getting me outside town and into a good spot for the night. The few I pass on the street comment about the sorry shape of my wheel on the cart. I just hope it gets me to Shreveport. Because now I have another item to carry, the cooler. One of the people that stopped to ask how I was doing yesterday, mentioned that working in construction out here, they would work till eleven and start again at three because of the heat. I can't take off four daylight hours but I think that taking 12 to 1 or 2 may be a necessity. Otherwise, I just need to push through the miles and get through to Alexandria. Once there, I'm headed NW and should encounter cooler weather as I go. For the last week I've only made 12 -15 miles a day and mostly on the low side. Which isn't terrible, I suppose. I try and remind myself that I'm older, and in some cases much older than the other folks walking across America. But its also just walking, so there's that.

From the outset

When I announced to my mom that I was planning on a walk across the country, she was hesitant at first, but then after understanding it a bit more; has been very supportive of my journey. Even before that, when I moved to Florida last year, helping me get back on my feet, she was there at my back. I know that this trek couldn't be easy for her. Even though I'm a 46 year old son, the thought of me sleeping in a ditch, or the way I have lived, must have caused anxiety and worry. But she has been just awesome and supportive. I know that having me as a son can't have always been easy, so I'm especially thankful and lucky to have her as my Mom. Happy Mother's Day Mom!

Preparation

In my hotel room, I have all my supplies and gear spread out across the bed and floor. My goal is to go through everything and toss the gear I just don't use. I may have to abandon my cart and backpack it, and if it comes to that, I want to be able to just grab my pack and walk away. I still have a fair amount of "just in case" supplies that hasn't found a use. Even now, when packing my cart, I don't use but a third of the space. I was able to wash my clothes, and am so glad to that. Washing clothes on the road is fairly easy but they take all day to dry, and if not, the dampness tends to mildew overnight. I need to get new socks tomorrow, as the ones I have are thin and holey. Yesterday and today, have been spent in bed resting or sleeping. I didn't realize how much energy and awareness were spent being on the walk. Even zero days like last week, I was always cautious and aware. And I guess that measure of alertness takes its toll. The heat definitely plays its part too. Though still tired, and I expect to rest throughout the day and night, but this way station is just what I needed; and now ready for adventure again. Within the next week I will see the Mississippi river, and very excited about that.

A much needed rest

These last few days have been, I'm looking for the right word, uncomfortable, exhausting, horrible. I'm not sure. And its hard to know if it's something that just builds up over the days of the walk or is it the specific days that just suck. The temperature definitely plays a part and the humidity. It seems that though the humidity is the same as Florida, there is the added bonus of hitting 100 degrees in Mississippi early on and the combination makes for added fun. I set out early today and after a few hours I was covered in sweat. Then semis would roll by and bring gusts of too cool air that made me gasp with the sudden chill. But I made it to McComb. I got a text from my mom while sitting on the roadside try to recover from my short hike. She made a donation to my burrito fund so I could get a hotel and much needed rest. I called a few places but settled on one 3 miles away because I thought it was one of the chain hotels. But like in Pensacola, these tricksters have their name grandfathered. The economy inn is a dive. But it does have ice cold ac, a bed, and a shower. I had to debate taking a shower first thing because I was so tired. But I decided a shower was the best way from keeping an aroma from being an all day and night thing. Then I crashed until 4. I did break out my blanket in place of the bedspread that looks to have been washed sometime in the 1920s, just because my previous experience with a dive hotel, left me with bed bugs. I really didn't realize how tired I was, and still am. There's a McDonald's across the street and I had dinner. Now just really enjoying the ac and the ability to rest and renew. I'm booked for two days, so that should be enough to get back on track. There's also a WalMart on the way out of town that I can look into someway to hold ice and remain cool on the walk. Thanks again Mom!

Early

It's way early and I'm awake and walking. Hoping to beat the sun and heat for a little while at least. The chill in the morning air renews my steps and that those beastie boy walkers up north are making twenty miles a day. The cart is still holding up but making creaking noises which can't be good. Gotta go.

Did I mention its hot?

Cause wow! Sitting in the shade and soaking, dripping great gabules of sweat isn't pleasant. I made a decisive break for the woods, and now just sitting, waiting to see if anyone cares. I heard engines nearby, but will just wait and see. Seems an old family friend passed me on the road, but was working so couldn't stop. I wasn't aware of anyone that lived here roundabouts, but I have been out of the loop for awhile. It's just nice knowing someone in the area. The rains that were headed this way with a vengeance, broke off and dissipated about 50 miles from here, and that is great! I really have no idea how I'm going to combat the heat. I'm definitely getting an early start, so that by 11, I will have made some miles. And today was only 85, tomorrow its supposed to be 90! Once I get to Alexandria, I will be heading northwest into a hopefully cooler hemisphere, but until then I expect there will be plenty of suffering. I am so thankful to the local folks that brought me cold drinks. They really went out of their way makes me feel great!

Rains acommin

Rain hit the atlantic2pacific walkers and its headed my way. I'm glad they posted it, otherwise I would have been in for a shock. I bought an energy drink and that helped a little. Currently sitting in a ditch, but at least in the shade. Some ladies saw me and brought power aids and honey buns, simply wonderful people. Now just trying to figure out what to do. No bridges ahead, and its still so hot. I think everyone has a different chemistry and can tolerate different kinds of heat. I can do well in dry heat, but this humidified jungle heat just throws me down and beats the crap outta me. That's the whole reason I went north from Pascagoula in the first place. But my current route brings me southern about 30 miles, and I guess that's the boundary line where the humidity stops being stupid.

Every step

Of the way is a new experience in a brand new kind of hot. I guess mornings will be my new best friend, because I can barely move much less hike this walk. Thankfully a guy stopped to where I wad sitting and gave me some cokes a cup of ice and some leftover chicken. It was divine. I just can't make the mikes though, and have to worry constantly about overheating. So its, walk a mile or so, then rest the entire way. Makes me wish I had invested in a camelback or something that could hold a cold drink without it being scalding hot, by early afternoon. My legs feel like lead and the rest of me, like a weight pressing in on me. I grew up in Florida and don't remember it being like this. Long endless hills, no shoulder to walk on and now a pervasive heat that makes me want to vomit. I've only a few more miles in me today.

Feeling better

Stopped under a shade tree, one of the few, to dry out. The early morning walk just coated me in sweat. Then my sister T called and had a really nice talk. I'm feeling better, and ready to meet the day. I'm hungry but will have to wait til I come across a store. Not really feeling like the fruit cocktail or beef jerky from my pantry.

Day 54

Feeling morose and not sure of the cause. But the day ahead doesn't hold any excitement for me. Maybe its all those forsaken hills. Or maybe the loneliness is getting to me. I feel like its taking forever to cross Mississippi and my leg problems are slowing me down further. I know, put one foot in front if the other. Eventually I will get there. The next town is McComb about 20 miles away then its another 50 or 60 miles to Natchez which borders Louisiana. It's not all that far considering my 500 mile trek through Florida. Some old timer told me that the hills end after McComb, and that's something If true.

Rules of the walk

Sitting under a bridge just outside Tylertown, and waiting for the light to fade. Bridges are good because they are close to the roadway, not private property, and fairly deserted. So getting out of sight quickly is easy. Like I said before, sitting for too long by the road draws unwanted attention, especially towards sunset. The only real worry is locals coming down to play. My map app isn't google maps, but I can do a birdseye view, and that helps me check out the terrain ahead. The next few miles are houses and businesses with not much in the way of wooded areas. So I'm under a bridge, and I can go into the nearby trees if the bridge becomes a problem or I get a weird feeling. But so far so good. There are a few rules I go by on my walk, and though every rule has its exception, I've found the following to be pretty solid. 1. No walking after dark! 2. Don't wait to fill up your supplies or use the bathroom; your next chance might be too far along. 3. If you find a premo spot, camp it and take the rest of the day off, because they are too few. 4. Always be polite and friendly even to the mean ones, because you don't want them tracking you down. 5. Farm roads and big cities are not your friends. 6. Camp on the side of the road you walk. The rules are a work in progress.

Paradise

Well, AC anyway. And I made myself eat a combo meal because that lack of energy could be because of my crappy diet. Earlier I found a shade tree and sitting under it feeling just awful. My leg, but more so my lack of energy or motivation. I figured I had walked enough, and would nab the first good spot I could find. But before leaving, I needed a pick me up so I checked the mileage I had already walked. To my utter shock and disgust I had only walked 4.7 miles for the day! From the look of me, you would have though I just finished a marathon. More than anything though I was mad at myself for the piddly amount of miles. So I started walking with a purpose a little faster, chastising myself all the while. No idea where my spot will be tonight. But I will dream of cool waters in sure.

Shin splints

According to google anyway. And only in my left leg, but its enough discomfort that each mile feels like five. I really don't push myself when walking and keep a normal walking pace, so I'm not sure how this could have happened. Maybe walking 15 miles everyday. Pfft. I changed into my sneakers, but they are just not comfy. This is just darned inconvenient!

Hump day

When everyday is hump day its hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Mississippi is all hills and goes on forever. The landscape doesn't seem to change and each mile I grueling, because of the lack of anything different. The road cut southwest a day or two ago and with it brought that wonderful humidity I though I'd left behind. I could really use a break. Where are those hippy communes when you need one. Probably not in Mississippi. Louisiana is starting to feel closer. Four or five days unless my GPS is creating fiction again. I'm trying not to lose my adventuresome spirit, but some days are better than others, and some days are just meh. Today is meh.

A new day

After digging my way back out of the thorns this morning, I headed up the road to a local store. It seems I was noticed in my headlong rush in my talk with the owner, and he tried to pin me down if it was me that slept down the road. I just replied I sleep where I can. I got lucky this time and thankful of that. I bought some drinks and some chicken legs they had cooked and ready. Who has chicken legs at 9 in the morning? I guess its a Mississippi thang. The town is called Kokomo, but doesn't resemble the beach boys song. Today my goal is past Tylertown which is about 15 miles

A new day

After digging my way back out of the thorns this morning, I headed up the road to a local store. It seems I was noticed in my headlong rush in my talk with the owner, and he tried to pin me down if it was me that slept down the road. I just replied I sleep where I can. I got lucky this time and thankful of that. I bought some drinks and some chicken legs they had cooked and ready. Who has chicken legs at 9 in the morning? I guess its a Mississippi thang. The town is called Kokomo, but doesn't resemble the beach boys song. Today my goal is past Tylertown which is about 15 miles

New camp rushing technique

The new technique involves stamina, quickness and alot of dumb luck. I call it the headlong rush. About a hundred feet from the roadside is the safety of the woods. In front of the woods are bramble bushes and dead trees. I checked my map and saw there was nothing resembling another tree line for 3 miles. That's past my get a spot timeframe and past sunset. Sitting by the roadside gets a fair amount of attention. Who is tho guy? What does he want? Does he plan on staying? Are my doors locked? So sitting next to the road is okay but only if you're moving on. Staying by the roadside for any length of time and then camping closely by creates a security issue. Hundreds of cars will pass you by, but not all are locals. Most are just passing by headed to further destinations. The dumb luck part is making the headlong rush when you hope no locals are passing by. And ad its name implies, you try to position yourself as close to the potential spot as possible, then make a lunging rush to the safety of the woods. Tonight, that entailed going over a steep hill, through thorny bushes, in which trapped and stopped me cold. Kinda embarrassing really, but I untangled myself and continued rushing into the cool shaded alcove of trees. I forgot to put on my dark hoodie beforehand with the long sleeves; so now I have all kinds of scratches on my arms. But the next step is to wait. Not go any deeper into the woods but still hidden. Gotta give time for people to make calls and drive on out if they're inclined. I was outta luck anyway, so at least this way, I have a chance of setting up camp before dark. Hopefully no on notices that two foot wide path I made from the roadside to here. Maybe they will attribute it to a big boneded dear.

Tuesday afternoon

Just freakin hot. There are just no end to these hills and I need the rest of the day off. Sitting in a concrete ditch next to a potential spot, but there's too much sun to stealth into it. It also happens that my scoot into a spot time coincides with people driving home from work. A few weeks back, I cut off the sleeves on my shirts. I did this to develop a tan line higher on my arm, but coincidentally now I'm able to wash under my arms without removing my shirt. How handy is that! Buy for those who are just dying to know, I do a full hobo bath about every three days, as opposed to just the basics the rest of the time. I hate having dirty skin. The earlier part of the day dealing with questions of god and man just wore me out. It's like there's always this battle of pessimist versus the optimist in me fighting for dominance. And for most of my life the pessimist won. But look how that turned out. So anyway, my hope is to get a good nights sleep and take some aspirin for the soreness in my leg.

Uphill

The end of that hill was a decoy. I shoulda known. But while ascending it I was contemplating my last post. I was worried about upsetting people the way I mentioned the Christian god. That was not my intent, I was just trying to say that since I don't know which theological doctrine is the correct one, that I would simply walk my own path and if god wanted me to follow him in a certain way, for him to tell me and lead me on. So I prayed as I am want to do, and asked god that if there was a certain doctrine he wanted me to follow, to show me. As I created the false peak, Nichole was waiting with a cold drink. Nichole was very thin, wearing a doo-rag, pajama bottoms and a church of god t-shirt. After explaining my walk, she told me our meeting was not a coincidence and that I can't believe in the father without believing in the son. I told her I would think on it carefully. I don't really believe in coincidence, but I also don't discount the lure of my straw hat and hobo garb. I'm still not willing to put broad labels about my pilgrimage nor my faith, but I can't disregard my meeting with Nichole.

Uphill

The end of that hill was a decoy. I shoulda known. But while ascending it I was contemplating my last post. I was worried about upsetting people the way I mentioned the Christian god. That was not my intent, I was just trying to say that since I don't know which theological doctrine is the correct one, that I would simply walk my own path and if god wanted me to follow him in a certain way, for him to tell me and lead me on. So I prayed as I am want to do, and asked god that if there was a certain doctrine he wanted me to follow, to show me. As I created the false peak, Nichole was waiting with a cold drink. Nichole was very thin, wearing a doo-rag, pajama bottoms and a church of god t-shirt. After explaining my walk, she told me our meeting was not a coincidence and that I can't believe in the father without believing in the son. I told her I would think on it carefully. I don't really believe in coincidence, but I also don't discount the lure of my straw hat and hobo garb. I'm still not willing to put broad labels about my pilgrimage nor my faith, but I can't disregard my meeting with Nichole.

That hill

I've been seeing this hill up the road for the past 5 miles and its been causing me some concern. After all, if I can see it from 5 miles away, its gotta be a nice hike. But now that I'm here, I'm relieved that the past miles have been gradually leading up to it. Mississippi has a bad habit of throwing in a steep long hill when you least expect it, so this is a nice change. Earlier after finishing my blog post, a nice guy came up to me and we started talking. He was a Mennonite and wanted to share his belief with me. We talked for a bit. And I let him know that though I respected his belief, that I have my own walk with god and that I'm not ready to put labels on things. Nor will I be using the bible as a reference point. I know that god is with me. I don't know if its the Christian god, or what. But if he wants me to follow a particular doctrine, then he will show me the way. It's not important for me to have a name or a history. That's the way my intellect would prefer it, but not the path that's in front of me. After we spoke he gave me a few bucks and some tracts. It was a very nice conversation and a good way to spend some time in the shade.

Sunny and nauseous

Woke up to the sunshine in my tent and the cars going by. As my battery wad dead the night before, I had no alarm in which to wake me. So I'm in my tent berating myself for sleeping in, before I was even fully awake. I walked up the street, and a few miles uphill and back in time to the 80s. This gas station had to have been popular then and except for coke in a glass bottle, was reminiscent of my childhood. Then I stopped at WalMart and picked up some Jerry rigging supplies to help my tire get through the next 300 miles. The rim, has a special attachment, so I'm just going to have to hope it holds. If the worst happens and the thing falls apart, I will just backpack the rest of the way. Not a fun thought. I guess the cold front has passed, because it was warm all night. I am not feeling so hot and kinda nauseas. But I figure 15 miles per day is my minimum and that leaves me 10 more miles to go before I can rest. Also my left leg/foot feels weird. Like a tendon along my shin feels tight. Alas, no rest for the wicked.

Cloudy

Been battling with the sun all day in charging my phone, but it seems the shade of the trees isn't a good place to do so. It's been nice just relaxing. No exploring for me, therefore no chance of encountering anyone. I have done laundry so naturally its cloudy now and I've felt a few raindrops threaten my tranquility. But I'm betting it will pass. Alot of people seemed to like my day in the life post, and it was accurate in a general sense. But there is also an alertness that pervades the day. When walking on the shoulder, no matter how hallucinogenic things may seem in the heat of the day, I am alert to what's going on around me. I watch for oncoming cars to make sure they don't hit me, but I'm also scanning the grass and shoulder in front of me for snakes. And on the lookout for menacing situations, like a car parked ahead. When in town, I pay attention to people and their attitude towards me. I'm not paranoid, just very aware. It carries through the day and night, which is why at a campground or motel, I can truly relax and let down my guard. Like right now. Everything is packed in my cart, and I'm laying on the ground near my spot on a garbage bag. If I need to, I can be up and away in seconds. And everything has a place in where it goes. When I'm finished using something, I pack it back up, so I'm ready to go. Even in my tent at night, I have everything in my backpack. So after my hobo shower, I pack all that back up. I sleep using my backpack as a pillow, I have my snake pokin stick on the tent, a bottle of water and that's it. So in the morning after I put on my shoes but before I exit, I pack up my sleeping bag and now blanket; so when I exit the tent, I can break down my camp in about 5 minutes. Even now, on my veg day, I'm listening for odd sounds, cars stopping, peoples voices etc. I chose the yeti as my mascot with alot of thought, though I would have preferred bigfoot. Yeti is the Asian version but sounds better than wayward bigfoot. Anyway, I like that the yeti is hidden and unseen, which is how I prefer to travel and camp, incognito. I don't really want to be noticed, by the locals who like to have fun with the homeless guy, or by some sociopath who wants to kill someone and pin the murder on the guy passing through. Just like I don't tell everyone about my blog. I don't want them following me online with nefarious intent, knowing where I will be on any given day. So, w and awareness are a core outlook of this lifestyle.

Zero day

Packed up my camp, then did laundry, then trimmed and shaved, waiting for the sun to charge my phone and realized I was putting off leaving my campsite. The crappy energy drink isn't even giving me the motivation I need. So I'm calling it, Zero day. It's a beautiful day for walking, but I just wanna veg. So a day off it is!

Oh Manny

As I was cleaning out my cart, I noticed one of the rims was bent. I know it happened the other day when getting out if my spot, was on a hill and the cart started to topple, so and I had to push against the fall. There's a WalMart in town 5 miles up. I was planning in getting a tire for the one that has threads showing through. But with the other wheel bent, I don't want to invest money into something that's going to give up on me. Ugh! What a little cart of horrors its turning out to be. I guess I don't really have a choice and will use it till he goes completely lame. They should make a dolly backpack. Wear it or push it. Right now, the only thing Manny does well is hold my laundry to dry.

Morning has broken

I like waking up to the light of the morning and the sounds of the birds. Versus my alarm and a hasty exit. This is a good spot where I can sleep in. Not many of those. Of course sleeping in means laying about til 8 instead of 6, but that's my life now. I slept well. It wasn't as cold last night, and I really like having a blanket. Sleeping bags are not a long term solution for comfortable sleeping. And though I want to stay here all day and possibly another night, I wont. I will start getting anxious and then think about a nice icy soda, or need to charge my phone. There will be something that pushes me forward. Because, like it or not, the more distance I travel, the better I feel about my journey. Progress. And I like my weight loss program, and walking miles is a big part of that.

And water

The beautify lady also brought me a dix pack of water, I forgot to mention. I just happened upon a good spot for the night, and though early, there were no cars in sight so I seized the moment. The concrete drainage ditches are great for helping to avoid making lines in the grass with the cart. The popo pulled over and ran my license, and though they were fairly decent, I font want them waking me up in the middle if the night. There's still a few hours left of daylight, so I wont be setting up my tent for about an hour more. I was thinking earlier about how it would be great if right then I could be in an a/c'd room with a glass of my famous chilled tea, with a blanket and a good tv show. Then I thought of all that went with it before. The previous Tom. And it made me really glad I set about on this walk. Yesterday I was looking at my reflection in my phone, and I didn't recognize the look in my eyes. It was really odd, like looking at someone else. It made me wonder what new was in there. My journey thus far, through the swamp of Florida, the marshes of Alabama, and now Mississippi; I've been thinking of the highlights, the good stuff. Sure there was pure terror filled walks at night fearful of bears, and good ole boys playing chicken. There have been days that I wouldn't mind forgetting. But I feel it was a deconstruction of the Tom before and then an evolution of the man in becoming. But the things that stand out now are: Freddie, an older black man rushing out of his barn, across the roadway yelling "do you want an ice cold Pepsi?". Meeting Marlena and Iann, my new friends from Denmark, who are now weeks away from the end of there cycling journey. My escape from the most that surrounded my campsite, showing me what willpower really is. When Manny broke down and everyone rallied around me with donations and support. The epiphany I had about fear, and finding faith. Connecting with people that have been part of my life, but are now more in the foreground. And all the daily emotional support I get from all of you, it makes my life better. And I'm only a month and a half in! I haven't showered in a week. I have to conform my body to the shape of the ground nightly. I never no where in going to camp, and there is a certain odor. But I am happy.

Oh my

I really have to revise my impression of Mississippi. Sure there are issues here, just like any other place, but there are some nice things too. The scenery is just beautiful. Green and lush and rolling hills, a great outdoorsman paradise. The sky can take on a color of blue, that just makes you smile. I haven't gotten one lear or disgusted look, if anything, I get curious stares. I mean who in their right mind walks across a state with no shoulders? And more than any state thus far, people are generous and kind. I am terrible with names, and I really wanted to mention this woman's name but all I could think of was ice, cool magnificent ice! I'm walking a long stretch with no stores, and the whole while while baking from the inside out, I can only think of one thing...ice. I take a swig of water and it feels like filling up a pitcher and putting it in the fridge. No satisfaction, just motion. Then an SUV pulls up in front of me, which is amazing in its own right. See, I'm walking against traffic, and that's counter intuitive to receiving kindness on the road. People see someone and pull over in front of them if they want to offer a ride or something. It's convenient and common sense. I walk against traffic so that I can see cars as they swerve to hit me. So, when someone sees me, and makes a conscious effort, turns around, and pulls in front of me, its kinda amazing. So the door opens and there she is in her glistening beauty...a large icy drink from McDonald's. There was a woman holding the cool filling goodness, I'm sure of it. Kathy maybe. All I could think if was the ice. She handed me the drink and my legs just about gave in. She also gave me a combo meal with pies and some cash. So awesome! To take time to get a meal and drive it out to me, is just amazing! I feel cool for the first time since waking up this morning. Thanks kind lady.

Day 50 maybe

Spent all morning resetting my phone, reinstalling apps, and doing a little work. It's really hot out now, staggeringly so, but just doing the walk and all these hills. If I was still on my southern route, I'd be in Louisiana by now. Another 130 miles to go in MS and maybe if I can find the energy, and make 20 miles a day, I can be in LA by the end of the week. But planning is folly, so will just do the best I can and accept the changes as they come.

A new day

Last night I had to make my camp in the dark. It was late, and there was nothing, so I had to wait for darkness to create some shadows. I made camp on the side of a hill and after, I stepped outside to relieve myself. Looking up, I saw the most beautiful thing. It was a full moon, so I could see the tops of the trees, and there were fireflies doing their dance. I stood there amazed by it for several minutes. It's one of those moments, that make this walk, with all its hardships totally worth it. Especially when stealth camping after dark, and I'm in my tent, the first hour or so, I just lay there. Listening to the sounds of the road. First, I'm very aware, listening for cars slowing down, in possible pursuit of the vagrant that would dare despoil their virginal property. But then slowly, I am lulled by the noise of the passing cars, into calmness. It reminds me if the Hulk, when he calls. The buzzing of the world around, while the mind stops spinning. Because of the visibility of my spot during the day, I had to break camp before sunrise. The blanket kept me warm and I wanted to sleep in. But was on the road by 645. Yesterday evening, which for me now is about 530, I was given money and food by two separate people, a disabled vet and a local guy who saw me earlier. On a trek like this, money is always a concern, as much as knowing where your next meal will come from. I prefer to plan 3-7 days ahead, and comfortable with that. When I don't know where my next energy drink is coming from, then I start to fret. And then I pray. And each time I have been answered with money and or food; and lodging when I needed it. Not only from friends and family, but from complete strangers. It feels amazing to be the recipient of these gifts, both monetary and spiritual. My phone had to be reset, it was acting up, and my contacts may be gone. Just an FYI.

Another Mississippi rant

No sidewalks or crosswalks in Hattiesburg! None. And of course no shoulders. So every 20 feet, I have to stop, life my cart over the curb, walk twenty feet and then gently pull my cart back over the curb to the road as all my things get jostled about. I bought those water jugs with the screw in lids, because it seems when you do that much jostling with a tap on lid, the air pressure inside makes it pop off. Then all your stuff is wet. Also there is so much litter. The individual businesses, clean up what they cam around their places, but the medians and sides of the roads ate filled with trash and flying debris. Thus far, Mississippi is the most unfriendly state to walkers.

How many days

Can wear the same socks before I need to was them? I'm going on 7 and when I take off my shoes at night, the uh...aroma fills the tent. Washing requires the precious water and I'm a little wary of the various creeks and rivers. Its really the boots though that are the culprit. After the "king kong ain't got nothin on me" incident where I was trogging thru the swamp, they just haven't been the same. More comfy maybe, but smelly. I guess its the price I will just have to pay until my clothes get so unbearable that a laundromat is required. Its not as if I am socializing with anyone, buy it still bugs me. I am also bothered that I haven't really lost any weight since my 400 mile mark. I know I've gained muscle, and my body is probably in starvation mode because of how little I eat. I also haven't really been making the miles I should have because of the rain. So though I'm peeved, I'm not really bothered because I still have a way to go. I was just planning on going shiftless eventually and build up a tan. Its so hot sometimes that I want to, but thoughtfully refrain. Now that I have my blanky, I can relax a little about the cold, it was starting to stress me out. Hattiesburg is my last big town for a long while and I'm prolonging resuming my walk. Its just nice having a store on every block.

Less than

A hundred miles from my southern route, yet 15 degrees colder, I don't get it. It was 46 when I woke this morning, and it was not fun. Thank goodness it got warm fast after sunrise. I'm at WalMart now and definitely planning on getting a blanket, thermal underwear, a fleece or something! The tire will just have to wait. If I have to go all chinaman I will. Just rims. I think about my uncle Sid often, and he was a good man. I'm trying to be more like him if possible, more accepting and more people orientated. For most of my life I've pushed people away trying to define myself, and have been very selective about who I chose to call a friend. I just ended up lonely and alone. Now I see that a person's spirit is the most important quality and being surrounded by people that make you feel good. I've always prided myself on my wit and satire. But a kind sincere comment goes way further, and makes people feel better. Not to get all hippie on you, but it's all about being happy and making others happy. So I've decided to Make Love Not Wit, as much as is humanly possible for me. Goal today, is to exit Hattiesburg and make miles.

This land

In mid Mississippi is just beautiful! Got a real tom Sawyer feel to it. But all the streams and rivers are muddy and not pleasing to look at. And no McDonalds, everywhere else they are everywhere. Here in big cities. Same with WalMart.and WalMart must be the cash crop here because every other semi that passes me is a Wally world truck; the other kind is lumber. The people are okay, but they drive like they are on a mission and don't move into the middle lane when they see me, but instead go to the very edge of their lane firmly gripping the wheel, as if to say "My lane! My lane!". Or they try to run me over. Either or. Something that bothers me worse than the no shoulders dilemma, is the road kill. There is no cleanup for it and there is so much. I'd say every 50 feet and still be conservative. I've even seen domestic dogs and cats, not little ones either. It really makes me angry, that A, these domestic animals are running around the highways B, the owners could care less, and C, that these beloved pets are just left on the road, like an empty beer can. When I talk about the South, this is what I mean. Messed up priorities. I'm in a spot now, and its not the greatest. Once the darkness comes it will be better. Its also Friday, meaning the miscreants likely won't be four wheel in, but cruising the strip. I think they still do that. What else is there to do here? In the morning will hit up WalMart and hope they have the tire size I need and cheap. If not I may opt for a throw blanket. I bought a gas station t-shirt that may or may not help with the cop tonight. Its supposed to be gone soon by is a real hassle.

Hattiesburg

Made it here, but I guess I'm used to Florida, that when you get within city limits, you are already surrounded by sprawling metropolis. Here it's a truck stop. I may be able to bypass the library tomorrow but that depends on my phone. I got a small bit of work for a website to do, and just need to makes some updates and send a newsletter. Its tedious to do it on a 4 inch screen, but theme the breaks. Luther from yesterday, found me today and gave me his lunch again, and 5 bucks! Very nice guy! The truck stop has a cafe and I had a burger and fries. I barely touched the fries but consumed the burger in short order. I really have been craving healthy fresh foods and proteins, and nothing that a walker typically gets to eat, which are was carbs that pound a wallop but last a long time. It seems one of the packets of skittles I've been carrying done blowed up and now I have them everywhere. While setting up the tent last night, I noticed some red stains that were still wet. II checked myself just in case I was cut and didn't know it. After unpacking the rest of my gear, I found the busted package of skittles. While sitting on a guardrail earlier, two cars stopped to see if I was okay (I'm telling you, its the hat). And the second car gave me a powerade. After drinking warm water all day, that really hit the spot. Lots and lots of hills in Mississippi and all uphill. Gotta figure out my plan for today and find an early spot if I can.